The EU formed in the 1970's for trade purposes, however dramatic changes have transformed it into more of a controlling government body, and restrictive legislation caused the people of Great Britain to hold a referendum to decide whether to leave or remain, but differing opinions on how to proceed have led to a divided nation.
This is Megan Gatchel's Thesis Statement
This is a very good thesis statment that clearly states what the subject and position of the essay is. Megan also does a great job setting the tone of the essay and actually presenting an argument. The only thing I would change would be to make it shorter and to try and put in less commas. Also, I would try to make the "dramatic changes" you referred to more specific or to give an example of it. Otherwise, this is an excellent thesis.
ReplyDeleteOverall a good thesis. I would suggest focusing the last portion of your argument (starting at "restrictive legislation...) a bit for clarity. Also, you may want to move some of the background information out of your thesis and into your introduction or your setting the scene paragraph.
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